It's not an accident, it's fate;

D'ELCHANTO! AND MR10! ♥
Together we will run to somewhere new,
Somewhere we can make our dreams come true,
Doesn't matter what might come our way,
I know we'll make it there someday.

The past two days of orientation have been so awesome! After the walls of awkwardness finally came down, I guess everything just fell right into place. The games parts really made my day, I learnt so many new stuff I never knew existed, and laughed so much my sides ached. It's pretty amazing to know that in just a little less than two days, we have achieved ever so much. And we have really really great OGLs who are just so sweet and funny. I feel so blessed; it's such an exhilarating feeling. Well, of course not everything's perfect, but even the tiny little imperfections can be righted. Comic relief, anybody? :) 

I was telling em yesterday that I still feel kinda out of place sometimes; it feels as though unfamiliar faces are now part of our everyday life, except for yearmates that I hardly ever see these days, and friends. But on the bright side, everyone I met has given a whole new definition to the word 'friend'. I'm just hoping that when orientation ends, we won't let this bond slip away into nothingness. 

I don't want orientation to end. But I have memories that will last me a lifetime, and that's all I'm asking for, really. 

capture it, remember it;

we all need the clowns to make us smile;

Orientation's tomorrow! It's gonna be exciting stuff. I'm torn between excitement for what's to come and fear of the unknown. But I have so much faith in MR10 it's crazy. The people are so vastly different, but my gut tells me it'll all work out in the end.

And CCA trials reminded me of just how uncertain our futures are. Hmm my life seems to have been pretty much stable these past four years such that I've actually forgotten how things were like when nothing was certain, but now life's back on rocky ground. Well, here's to even more competitive environments. Note to self for tomorrow: don't be alarmed by the people you will meet. 


come on life, bring on the lemons; 

your instinct's telling you to run,

The SATs were okayish. Forgive me for my lack of descriptive ability. The thing that was maddening about the whole test was how the sections were arranged. It almost drove me nuts when I happily finished one critical reading section and then turned the page to discover yet another critical reading section staring back at me mockingly. But I'm proud to say that truculent, belligerent, inchoate, sagacious and many other scary words are now part of my vocabulary. Although come to think of it, I can't exactly remember their meanings hahahaha. So much for my vocabulary.

Anyway the part of acjc that we went too was downright gross (sorry becky!). And even gross is a sore understatement. There was a rat (YES A RAT, BELIEVE IT), and a dead one at that, sprawled on the ground when we walked through the school gates. But it's okay I still think acj's a nice school, especially the faith centre of performing arts; the rat was just a bit disturbing. Okay not a bit, a lot. But but but the faith centre of performing arts brings back such awesome memories of becky's IS and GS that the rat isn't all that disturbing anymore ;)

Lunch on saturday was so fun! What with rolling heads and firefighters and burned-down houses. 
But I solemnly swear we were just fooling around. :D

Anyway I was looking through my lj and I posted this three months ago, but I thought I would post it again because it's just too funny:

"So, Chelsea's beautiful."
"She's smart, too. She takes AP everything."
"Sounds promising. And what does she think about you?"
"That's too big an assumption. She probably doesn't think about me at all."
- Jordan McAfee to Thomas McAfee (Salem Falls by Jodi Picoult)

Don't you think this little thing is the cutest ever? It kinda reminds me of Wilbur in Charlotte's Web.

We've got to get out of this place, if it's the last thing we ever do.

all the clouds are silver-lined

I'm so glad I went for the gathering in the end. Things have changed; we all have gone along our separate paths and these paths are gonna branch out even wider still in time to come. But I guess it's never that easy to forget people, not even when you stuff them to the very back of your minds and will the memories to disintegrate. 

They came into your life for a reason, and perhaps it was just a fleeting, short-lived moment, or a solid few years, but they were there. Well, melting the ice and dust that have formed after four whole years was definitely not easy, trust me, but at least the layers of ice and dust aren't half as thick anymore. They could still use some work though. I don't know what got me over the awkwardness, but it was the queer feeling of detachment yet the seamless ability to continue where we left off that made it seem all too real, or all too bogus, depending on how you see it. But I'm quite sure now that I never forgot, I really haven't. 

But things are so different now that you don't exactly remember who the people they were before anymore; it's just a shadow. I am not saying change is a bad thing you know; I'm just saying change is not something that explains itself fully enough, and it renders you rather puzzled in the end. 

I'm starting to love RJ more; I think there's so much more in store for us, especially orientation next week. Can't wait :) I'm starting to get so nervous for SATs on saturday! YES I WILL CONQUER YOU SATs WHOOO :D And ACJC is the perfect place to have the SATs, since it gives me the perfect reason to look to becky as a source of motivation. 

And each step is getting brighter
As the golden stairs I climb.
And every burden is getting lighter
And all the clouds are silver-lined.
And, over there the sun is always shining
And no tears will ever dim the eye
And the ending of the rainbow
Where the mountains, they touch the sky.
There are many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.
<3

my loneliness ain't killing me no more

I am such an indecisive brat it's annoying. Still can't decide whether I should go tomorrow. But that aside, there's cca feste tomorrow which is gonna be pretty exciting. 


I THINK WE'RE HOPPING MAD HAHHAHAHA

running in monochrome

Don't try to find RG in RI, because you'll never be able to find it. 

The seniors telling us about college life yesterday were so very nice, sent us all into peals of laughter. And they enlightened us quite a bit too I guess. I don't know why but I get this warm fuzzy feeling looking at how grown-up and sweet our seniors are now, and I think it must be the inexplicable rgs bond doing its job hehehe :) It sure felt like they were PSLs giving us a PSL session :)) I really am so grateful for nice seniors, we are definitely lucky people. (and in a year's time, we would be like that too yeah?)

Oh my goodness pouring over SAT books in the RJ library with lingzhi today was the most amusing thing ever. We were trying to find examples for hard SAT words and everything that came to mind sent us laughing like crazy. I think people thought we were lunatics hehehe, but well, who cares what they think. 

I am crossing my fingers real hard that I'll end up in a nice class. I don't mind making friends from scratch, you know, I really don't. Somehow if you wish hard enough, you can will things to happen, which is technically what I'm trying to do now. Talk about weird. And and after thinking really hard, I'm quite certain that I won't join rchn in RJ. For one, the last four years of rgsrcy have been made up of enough memories to last a lifetime, so enough is enough for me. For another, I think it's time to try new stuff :D

I hope becky's doing well in harvard <3 Miss that girl ):

Just get up and run. The wind's in our favour.

just another one of those days

Another really cold day today, but you don't see me complaining, do you? :) Though the Performing Arts Centre place that we were cooped up in for almost the whole of today (and for almost the rest of the Induction Programme too) was freezing. The whole of RJ still gives me a really foreign feeling, but hopefully that will fade away in time. The whole Raffles Diploma thing got everyone freaking out real bad, the school definitely expects a lot from all of us and well, having expectations is one thing, living up to them is another thing altogether. But hmm no pressure, no pressure at all. Hahaha understatement of the century, if you get what I mean. But all's good so far I guess, everyone's just going with the flow, trying to get into the thick of things. No one knows exactly what we're doing yet and in a way, I think it's better not to know than to know and then sink into the depths of stress or something. 

The CCA system is quite queer actually, similar to RGS, yet there are so many more choices available. And because in sec 1, I didn't exactly know what I was doing half the time, so now it's time for more informed decisions haha. Half of the people seem to have their minds set on something, while the other half is just gonna try their luck at stuff. Funny, really. I know for a fact that I'm horrid at CCA interviews, so I'm not exactly expecting very much yeah. I couldn't believe it when I was actually considering three CCAs during the talk today hahaha. Talk about putting too much on your plate. But I guess you only live once huh. 

Oh oh I suddenly thought of this line in this video that the principal showed us during her talk this morning. 'Don't let cobwebs grow around your Big Dreams.' It stuck around in my head for quite long after; hmm, it really does give us something to think about. :)

well, hello life

Oh darn it, school officially starts tomorrow. And my mind is not even the least bit prepared. But oh well, december has been really great and everything, and it's definitely time to end off the hols now or I'll never get used to waking up early again. Hmm JC sounds daunting, really, the whole system of lectures and tutorials will definitely take some time getting used to. But I keep tellin' myself that if tons of other people have gone through JC unscathed, what with A levels and extra-curriculars and all, then all of us will definitely get through it too. Eventually. Yeah, eventually.

Oh yes I went for this attachment at KK hospital today, battled the horrid traffic to get there in time. Since when did highways start using descriptors anyway, the sign board was like “Massive Jam after Bukit Timah Road” and it couldn’t have described the jam any better. Enormously massive. Yeah but I got there a little after 8. Things were kinda interesting. Following nice people around, watching cute little kids jump around, sneaking into the ICU (heh that was way cool!) and other stuff like that. I remember becky’s brother having cerebral palsy too but I guess it doesn’t sound that bad anymore after today. And the children are way cute, despite CP and stuff; it’s totally unlike what I expected, but definitely in a good way. And the people are really nice (I think I said this already.) and pretty funny. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll consider becoming a physiotherapist. It’s fun, and not exactly very demanding either. Another recurring concept that I have to keep in mind is to do what you love or not do it at all ahaha. Actually, to tell the truth, I feel like going back again, everything’s really awesome.

Okay school tomorrow, have gotta be BRIGHT and PERKY because it’s my first ever day at RJC. Oh goodness I sure do miss RGS ): But like people always say, change is the only constant. And change just can’t come at a better time in my life right? :) Shall write to becky soon. In the meantime, I shall just make sure I can actually climb out of bed at 5.30 tomorrow morning. 

the future's just ahead of us <3

Out with the old, and in with the new.

A new year calls for a new blog :) The holidays are starting to wind down now and life is slowly getting back to normal. 2011 is already upon us, has been for a few days now, but I fear that the past years' experiences are lingering a little bit, so it's time to reflect and close that door once and for all. 


2010 was pretty whirlwind-like, it wasn't smooth, secure or calm and hardly mundane. It was definitely complex and full of uncertainty. But even so, despite many rough moments, I figured life is by far the toughest teacher I've ever had and will ever have, pushing me to my limits and sometimes beyond them, and that is a really good thing. But in terms of friendships and relationships and stuff, I think I have a few regrets here and there, for allowing myself to grow apart from some friends, but in general, I have grown closer to so many people and understood so many people better. It's scary yet amazing. 


Oh yes I remember seeing becky quite a lot this past year, watching Take Off, her coming back for sports fest and house pracs, sending her off at the airport. That seemed like eons ago, really, because now she's a whole continent and a half away. Yes anyhow, 2010 had its own unexpected surprises , and I enjoyed myself as much as I got myself all worked up over things in general. Unique, yes, but definitely one hell of a memorable year. 


So on to 2011, I'm not one for making resolutions or anything, but I'm kinda anticipating the excitement it's gonna bring. It definitely holds a lot of promise, and so long as I try to stay sane, keep smiling and always be happy, I'm sure things will always turn out alright in the end. OPTIMISM will be my middle name hehe! And here's just some stuff for myself to keep in mind this year:


1. When facing really rough times (not life or death situations but like 'aghh I'm so stressed' kinda times), the best psychological treatment is to give yourself something to look forward to each day. You know, something that will at least keep you going. And  it can be the silliest things, like 'By the end of today, I'm gonna paint all five of my toenails a different colour' or something, but definitely not that ridiculous. 


2. Sometimes your hardest critic is yourself, which also goes to say you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. So unlike the perfectionist I am, but something changed in me last year I think, I definitely don't crave perfection as much anymore because it's not realistic, and neither is it achievable. 


3. You're braver than you think you are. And don't let anyone else let you think otherwise. Easily understood.


4. True courage is pursuing your dreams even when everyone says it's impossible. People probably don't openly discourage you, but all the same their actions say it all. But just keep thinking you can do it, and you will be able to do it. 


5. Do what you love, and do it well. I learnt this one from becky so she shall be my example for this one. Becky's love for theatre and drama got her somewhere, and not just any somewhere, it got her into harvard. And currently she says 'I'm really enjoying myself because I'm taking classes that I absolutely love', which has to count for something, doesn't it? Yeah so doing what you love's more important than doing something for the sake of it. I was considering this when finding attachments and internships to do during the hols. And well, since my mind hasn't exactly given me hints on what I love doing in life and in the future, I haven't got a clue where I'm headed. But something will come up, I'm sure of it. 


6. There is joy and happiness in life. It might be oh-so-hard to find, but it's there all the same. And the tougher things get, the more you try to seek joy out. I guess I want 2011 to be a joyful, happy one, I want to laugh and feel as though I don't have a care in the world (even if I have more than a hundred things to worry about).     Because there IS joy in life but it's taken for granted and people these days don't seem to be as joyous as they once were.


7. Spending more time with family and friends is definitely good, but sometimes people need to be alone too. Like thinking time and reflection time.


8. And this shall be my resolution: to turn my dreams into solid plans. Too many times have I been dreaming and hoping but not actually doing something. This picture kinda sums it all up:

Yes, this year I'm going to love life, embrace the good times and the bad ones, regardless of what they may entail, and buckle up tight for an exciting ride! Life is not all rainbows or unicorns, but I want many ordinary miracles to come my way and experience some much-needed joy. :)