leavin on a jetplane

1. Finals are over!!! (aka no more readings for the next month)
2. Leaving for nepal in approx 4 hours!!!!!

Too many exclamation marks describe exactly how I'm feeling right now! although I'm all kinds of worried too but gonna cross those bridges when I get to them.

On another note, I chucked so many amazing songs into my ipod while packing last night and feelin so renewed now cuz I kinda put music on hold for the past two weeks (along with my social life and bits of my sanity).

Spending christmas (!!!) in nepal, see y'all in 23 days :)

cold chilly monday night

"And it was at that time that I thought about Thomas Jefferson writing the Declaration of Independence. Him saying that we have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And I thought about how he knew to put the ‘pursuit’ in there, like no one can actually have happiness, we can only pursue it." - The Pursuit of Happyness

Thankful for cold, chilly nights :-) contract in front of me while I type this, I've missed studying this late into the night and I'm thankful for this week cuz it means I can pull late nights without feeling like complete crap the next morning. Been pretty successful with the phone bans, yes I'll admit finals are turning me into an absolutely terrible texter but I love the feeling of not being overly dependent on technology (wow I'm totally gonna love nepal HAHA). It's pretty liberating knowing that I can just focus on studying this week :-) reading whatsapp groups has become a chore and lately I feel like throwing my phone out the window whenever I turn it on so I'd rather not. Sometimes it might just be better to live safely in oblivion HAHA 

HAHAHAHA okay I think I might be the total opposite of everyone but whatever

My december's packed to the maximum, nepal taking up 23 good days, gonna be turning 19 in a cold foreign place (a first!!!) and wishing I had more time for my friends. But nah not gonna let myself think about december yet, not when I've got tons of stuff to study. Scares me the amount of stuff I have to cover, but slowly but surely striking them off my list, okay I can do this :-)

Sick of caring too much, it's probably one of the things that wears me down the most. To hell with what people think srsly who are they to judge when they don't even know me. And who am I to judge too. Judging less = loving more :-) And okay call me weak call me 'bulliable' call me whatever you want there are reasons why I do the things I do and those reasons sure as hell don't include you. 

I can live with the fact that there are some people I tried but failed to please :-) 

okay back to studying 
miles to go before I sleep

Eleven eleven :-)

Things I'll never understand:

1. Why ppl study in school!!! (esp the school library) - there's this draining effect school has that I can't quite figure out and there's just so many ppl around how the hell dyou focus in a place like this! I secretly suspect studying in school is a trend thing, like cuz your friends are studying in school so you do it too. Kinda like a social norm? Something you do to fit in? OKAY I'm analysing and stereotyping way too much as usual HAHA but I'm perfectly comfortable at home nothing will make me drag myself to school hehe :-)

2. Superficiality - like yeah okay ppl need to stop making it so pointedly obvious that they only favour/bother talking to ppl who are pretty/smart/handsome like okay so do the rest of us have less to offer the world or smth?? Hahaha a bit blunt here but honestly I don't get why ppl act the way they do sometimes

3. Fluff mods!!!! aka ct twc that are complete life-ruiners )-; Plus trying to fix a structure on something as abstract as creativity??? No just no dude you don't know the first thing about creativity if you think it can be taught

4. Inefficiency!!!! O M G this literally drives me insane cuz I'm super anal about efficiency as of late. Considering 1. finals are coming and I am so pumped to start studying but fluff mods disrupt my schedule )-: 2. Group meetings are sooooo inefficient 3. Like helloooo twc may be your heaviest mod but it's my slackest so get to the point I don't have all day 4. Time to stop shoving it in my face that you have a lot to study!!! I probably have more but I'm not shoving it in your face am I?? (Plus I'm not complaining I actually like studying )-: )

5. Group meetings - I have lost complete faith in the efficiency of group meetings honestly sighpie just can't wait for it all to be over!!

6. Bidding - okay it's a brutal man-eat-man world time to save e dollars to avoid being the one on the losing end


Things to be grateful for (cuz there are always things to be grateful for):

1. SSU - thankful for this, thankful that the ppl so far have been so nice, thankful that I love what I'm doing, thankful that I now have something I can throw myself into (superficial but nice :-)) and thankful that it's not law-related at all (good escape)

2. Shan, Joy, Ianna - thankful that I got my AS class with them next sem, thankful that I have them to confide everything in, thankful that we'll see each other through law school :') and thankful that I found a group of friends I love more than anything here <3

3. Linda - thankful that I get what she's going through and that she gets what I'm going through and thankful that she's one of the few reminders that there are great ppl in this world :-) one of the first few friends I met in rj and so glad she's here with me or I'd probably be sooo lost

4. Lingzhi - which other friend bothers to travel all the way to smu to visit her friend who's can never find time to travel down to nus? Thankful that she can never stay mad at me for long, thankful that she forgives me for my shitty time lags in replying and thankful that she reminds me there's a world outside of smu :-)

5. Merciful profs + an amazing law class - grades better than I expected/deserved (?) and classmates that I love so very much and will miss terribly next sem <3 (yuching, anqi, annette, isabel, xinhoon, ppl to be thankful for)

6. Everything!!!!!

Okay gonna start work now back to crim verna :-)

ferris wheels + winged kites

People have been constantly taking my dignity away from me and it's okay because 1. I totally deserve it, and 2. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?

And it's okay cuz I have no more dignity left anyway. 

So they can just take all the rest I have. 

And I promise I won't put up a fight.

If there's one thing this week and the last taught me, it's that I'm so weak, and probably will always be. 

And I think I have lost much of my faith in humanity. Was talking to linda about this today, how people trivialize the things that mean the world to us (aka interact and rc) and how people in uni are endlessly so materialistic they will never derive as much happiness out of serving people as we do. And that's totally okay because everyone has their own battles to fight. But I'm a firm believer that the battles you choose to take on defines the kind of person you are.

And ha ha what good are promises when people don't keep them? It's like a butterfly without wings or a kite without the string. There but not quite. People keep telling you things, you keep telling them things in return and in the end, it probably meant a whole lot more to you than it meant to them. It's unsettling because when you've bared yourself entirely, you realise that it probably wasn't a very wise choice because they end up trivialising you as a person and the things you believe in. 

No just no sigh. Some people will never understand.

things I hold close to heart

Itching to write again because so many things have been making my days so much more worth living!! So I'm typing this on my way home. Pictures below, but they include so many texts and tweets from my kids, which reduce me to a pile of mush every time I read them. How did I ever get so lucky to have met a bunch of kids who touched my life as much as I've touched theirs :')

Anyway, I was reading through my old emails from becky again today and I found the one dating back to 2010 when she was giving me advice for batch talk. Back when I was small and scared and couldn't even bring myself to talk in front of hordes of my batchmates. Her exact words were, "you don't need anything but your sincerity, friend. as long as you mean what you say, that in itself is your power to influence." (Pic below) I guess those words never left me since that day and it's been almost four years. But the past ten months (or even two years), I haven't had time to reflect and think about the reasons behind what I do what I do and perhaps I've made some mistakes, but a whole lot of good came out of that too. And I firmly believe Becky's 'sincerity', drive and passion, the traits that I endlessly respected her for back in rg, somehow rubbed off on me too.

1) serving kids in csl the 2 years I was in rj - taught me patience, love, kindness and respect for the simplest human beings and the cutest ones too :-)

2) teaching 2/3 and 2/5 in gss and making the best memories a teacher-cum-student like me will ever make - taught me to love my kids unconditionally no matter how many times they screwed up, made me love watching bball (cuz all my bball boys make me so proud), helped me understand what it truly means to be there for my kids, and touching their lives
And the best part is, I honestly never thought they'd still remember, up till now :-)

3) sports camp/YOLO camp/law camp/SMUX camp - showed me how superficial uni could be on one extreme, yet showed me sincerity is still possible and should be something we all continually strive towards. Taught me to never judge, just accept and that people never turn out to be what you first imagine. And taught me that some ppl just aren't worth the effort so quit trying :-)

4) isle vietnam - taught me sincerity, sincerity and more sincerity. Cuz even kids on the verge of death can tell when you truly mean the things you do for them. And there's so much joy in knowing you made the last few hours of a person much more bearable, much more painless. :-) taught me about life, death and the in-betweens cuz having seen death, somehow life becomes so much more precious to you :-)

5) rgsrcy (okay not within the past two years, but still worth mentioning) - hands down the best four years of my life. Yearmates are probably the best friends I've made and will ever make :-) fd trainings under the sun thrice a week for fdc, arts fest prac twice a week, trainings and pt twice a week, things I'll never forget for as long as I live. The part of my life I hate most when ppl trivialize it cuz it meant the world to me. Taught me discipline, strength, courage, taught me to be respected and to respect and taught me love, passion, commitment and how love can bring ppl tgt and bond them as a team :-)

6) namaste - the next big thing in my life and the one I srsly hope I can bring sincerity to :-) cuz it's no longer just all that Becky would ever want for the world, but now, it's all I would ever want for the world too. like idk maybe if she were here now, she'd be happy that everyone's doing the little bit they can. as much as I wish she were, I'm just glad there's this part of me that'll always be touched by her :-) and a part of me that I can translate into tangible, concrete action.

anyway the point of my post is cuz somehow somewhere, someone realised I needed a timely reminder of the things I have to keep holding close to my heart, and to never ever lose sight of the bigger things in life. Hahahaha kinda was super glad + relieved today to hear that STAND UP RG and STAND UP AC are all still in operation, owing to becky of course, such that her legacy still lives on no matter where she goes :') maybe it's about time a STAND UP SMU was started too HAHAHAHAHA

the good die young / but the great will always last

'It's just I don't feel like explaining to ppl how much it means to me so I don't mention it at all'
Like I don't think it's fair or even possible to condense the four best years of my life in a single sentence so I'd rather just not bring it up at all.
'Like I think some ppl don't deserve to know the important parts of me.'
Because not being able to appreciate the importance of it in my life is akin to not knowing it at all. If there's one thing I can't take, it's ppl trivializing things that mean the world to me.

I'm on the verge of being crushed by all the things life is throwing my way and it's not funny anymore )-: and cuz I rarely say I'm dying, so when I do tell people I'm dying, I kid you not. But honestly I'm okay there's no reason to get all worked up, I've done this before and I can do this again.

Anyway I've just got to tell the world this!!! My senior was classmates with Becky in ac omg is this the part where my life and the life she left behind converges HAHAHAHA I'd like to think so :) the world is too small. but yeah okay little things like this can make my day my life must be quite bleak ha ha

So glad lz still texts me it's her sense of humour that helps me get through life :) srsly don't know what I'd do without her!!! I rly rly miss school now esp seeing all the pics of uniform day on insta!! I don't think I was ever ready for uni and a part of me prolly will never be. But ok verna you need to focus on the present stop going back to the past when the present gets tough!!!!

I actually kinda miss volunteering at csl too all those kids could make my day happy no matter how bad it was :-) oh boy life has changed so much in the span of a year

If today's the day I die/ lay me down under the lights/ let me fall in love/ let me save a life
And let me lose my voice/ singing all my favorite songs/ let me stare up at the stars/ cuz it's where we all belong

Lz is too funny I rly have to give her some credit

blur of traffic

sonder
n. "the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk."


Dying for this week to end cuz there's just too much to look forward to on Friday!! But there's all the obligations + things I must do before I get there ): sometimes I think I expect too much from myself, and I end up feeling bad I can't live up to it, even when I know it's physically impossible to, i.e. be in two places at once

I just hope people are more forgiving so that I can start forgiving myself

OH YEAH HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY to all my darling kids and yearmates and juniors and all the people I love v v much!! Ahhhh too precious :')

cheers to the freakin weekend

b r e a k i n g ) :

but itsokay I can put myself back tgt.

stop comparing stop judging stop complaining alr what good do ppl get out of it srsly. I don't get how ppl function with so much hate. in fact I don't get how the world functions with so much hate.

okay no time to feel think write go back to your texts verna

what could have been & what will be

Never thought I would end up in smu, much less in law school, but the past month hasn't let me down at all. I'm beginning to think I made the right decision coming here after all. Still remember making a hell lot of fancy plans to study in imperial/ucl/ucla just a while ago (and wasting a hell lot of money holding those places too sigh) but then subsequently abandoning every last one of them in the same month. A year ago, I would've thought this meant "settling for something less than I was capable of", but I guess I look at things differently now that I'm out of rj , and not constantly surrounded by people who had dreams ten times greater than their actions. But on hindsight, law's a noble choice, perhaps a part of me ended up choosing practicality over passion in the end, but who cares, I plan to study hard, make my time in law school worthwhile and figure out my passion along the way. Plus I'm so glad my parents have been so freaking supportive of me :)

Anyway, I've been having so many experiences lately, going for camps and making friends and just generally being a social human being (and hopefully succeeding hahaha). Sports camp set my standards real high, I'll admit, but smux camp, law camp and ftb honestly did not fall far behind, and the people I met have been nothing short of amazing. All extremely different, but in the best possible ways.

But one thing that irks me here is how people are so quick to judge, even those whom I never pegged as superficial end up unpleasantly surprising me (and I'm perhaps also guilty of judging). Like I don't understand how they can automatically classify people into a certain category just based on the way they look/act. And how just because people look/act a certain way, it automatically makes them less desirable as a friend?? How does this even make sense? The one thing about uni that scares me the most (probably even more so than the workload) are the friends (or the lack of them???). Like back in jc I guess I was really blessed to have real friends who had my back every single time. In uni, you can have a million friends, but how many of them would actually have your back at the end of it all?

Approx three weeks left till school starts! Gonna make the last few weeks of freedom count :)

Also, I tend to fall for people I know I'll never be good enough for. Hurts more than anything knowing you're not the one they'll pick. Why do I bring this upon myself ahahahaha okay I laugh at myself a lot

sports camp + stuff :)

Sports camp last week marked the start of uni life, I feel fifty shades darker after camp, no kidding, like even this kid noticed today and shouted at me "CHER WHY YOU SO BLACK NOW!" (to that I replied "WHAT BLACK"). HAHAHAA okayy about time I started realising the importance of sunblock.

This camp's probably something I'll remember the rest of my years in school, not just cuz of the friends made (they WERE pretty awesome) /sports played, but also cuz I experienced things I've never experienced in my entire life (good/bad thing you decide). Like, I'm not even exaggerating. If there was one thing that my six years as a rafflesian did not teach me, it was how to act in such social situations (aka the party/clubbing scene). Not just how to act, but how to not be so awkward/out of place/stick out like a sore thumb (okay a million phrases came to mind so I just had to type them out). I guess I kinda felt bad on everyone's behalf that I was being such a child and robbing them of the good time they could've had if they didn't have to stop and ask me every ten seconds whether I was okay. And at the same time, I felt bad for myself for not having as much fun as everyone else was (okay this part was me being a complete child). But srsly I don't get how I am the only person in the world who doesn't know how to club sighhh I have a lot to learn (yingx promised to teach me!!!)

But sports camp was fun, it's the kinda thing you look back on and remember only the good parts :) and I'm so glad em made me sign up for it. Have always been a strong believer in the "people come into your life for a reason" theory, and well it pretty much sums this up. Insanely blessed to have been a part of this camp :))

OKAY SMUX CAMP ON FRI! needa start packing early if not I'm gonna end up with three hours of sleep again. which, knowing myself, I probably will. 

Oh yes went back to school today to find myself table-less HAHAAHAHAHA can you imagine the look on my face when I realised my old table has been taken over and completely invaded. Maybe this is a sign that I should be leaving soon, I don't even have a proper permanent place in the staff room anymore.

I need to update more often. First off, to prevent myself from becoming completely illiterate, and second, so that I remember the bits and pieces of life, instead of just the huge events. AND YES my kids have cdiv bball matches soon which means I can go down to ccab to support them again, watching bball sure is addictive hehehe.

your string of lights are still bright to me.

Been ages since I last wrote something worth reading. Been ages since I last felt something worth feeling. And I shall attempt to organise my thoughts while everything still cuts raw and deep. Funny how sadness is as much a feeling as happiness is, and how you can't embrace happiness without automatically acknowledging that sadness will be a part of it too.

Honestly, I love being in greenridge. That last week of school was especially precious: I loved that I have something in my life that's worth every ounce of my energy. I loved that I had something worth waking up to everyday and that I can fall asleep happy every night. And I don't think I'll ever feel this strongly for anything ever again. I'm no teacher, definitely not trusted with math, but I'm just glad I've been a decent friend. That was all that mattered to me anyway. Sigh okay I'm in serious shit. This is what six months in the same place does to you: you start anchoring roots and you start feeling safe and comfortable being you again. Perhaps that's why knowing it'll be taken away all too soon leaves this giant lump in my throat and an even greater emptiness in my heart. Is it even possible to keep them in my life while I carry on with the rest of my life?? I sure hope so.

This eight-month long 'summer' break's (only because it's forever summer in sg) gonna end soon, and I'm so not ready for this next chapter of my life. Everyone seems to be set on where they are going, already making a ton of plans and signing up for camps and housing and whatnot, while I'm still left here hanging, thinking about what to do with my life and finding comfort in the one thing that has meant so much to me the past few months. Does it even make sense?? Studying overseas has been what I always wanted, but what if there are people here that makes studying locally much more worth it? Studying law was never what I had in mind, but what if it's more rewarding than I actually thought? Ughhh still so uncertain and I don't trust myself to make the right decision on an issue as important as my future.

I find myself being more and more careless about what I say lately, like I suddenly say stuff without thinking and people get mad and they don't want me in their lives anymore. ): And who am I to try to keep them in my life if they don't want to be in it in the first place. Either I try too hard or I don't try at all THERE IS SRSLY NO IN BETWEEN that's what I hate about myself sometimes. ugh maybe I just haven't got my priorities in order IDK just fuck it

OH YES the most important thing I've learnt in greenridge thus far (AND PROBABLY AN ESSENTIAL LIFE SKILL) : sometimes it's okay to use the f word, when you're sad or mad or just annoyed at your life in general. Yknow here I am where people use 'fuck' ten times a day and don't give a damn, and you realise that it's actually kinda okay to use it too. HAHA how trivial but I have a knack for noticing trivial stuff.

But I guess it's also in greenridge that I learnt two great extremes of the world. How so damn superficial people can be and how so damn brutally real they can be too. It's the superficial people that scare me, you can feel it radiating off the words they say and the things they do. Worse still, it's these people that seem to have the best of everything, and everyone can't help but bow down to them cuz it does wonders for their reputation. SRSLY mean girls in real life much? And then there are the people who talk to you not because they like talking to you (I mean what other reason is there to talk to someone??) but because you have something they want or it puts them in a more advantaged position somehow. That's the part that hurts more than anything I guess. But it's also the part that prepares you for the real world. RG/RJ was honestly too safe to be true, even if this kinda thing existed, it didn't permeate the school grounds as much as it does here. That's why I'm like the frog in well (井底之蛙).

When you've bared your soul entirely, and given all that you could possibly give, and that still isn't enough, then just suck it up and learnt to live with it.

sometimes all you need is just one person who cares, and you feel like you can accept the other nine-hundred and ninety-nine people in your life who don't.

never a solution

50% of the time I'm a tangled mess of emotions, so freaking unsure of what the hell I'm doing and scared I might be getting myself in too deep to ever get out. The other 50% of the time I'm just too tired of feeling, so I attempt to distance myself from my emotions (emphasis on attempt), which sadly never works. Remind me again why I'm such a mess. 

It's funny though, I honestly love going to school, the people being the main (and perhaps only) reason why I actually bother to drag myself out of bed at the crack of dawn everyday. Hahaha or maybe I'm just grateful that there are people who bother to acknowledge my existence. I think I'm putting it a lil too harshly, but I honestly feel like such a waste of space sometimes, maybe it's about time I rethink whether I'm meant to stay on. It's getting too hard. Grrr I don't even get myself sometimes how can a thing like this be hard whaaaat am I saying.

Guess what, I'm getting too emotionally attached, but I don't even care. This place is worth all the emotions in the world.

"Those who are hardest to love need it the most." - Socrates

loose threads

Although the past month wasn't the most perfect, this is definitely as close to perfect as it gets. So blessed for the months I got here so far, and if everything goes according to plan, I might have three more. I never thought I'd stick around for so long, kinda expected myself to not like school as much as I do now, but now looking back, I'm sooo glad I made the right decision. Might have been more stressed than I'm allowing myself to be (still in the post-As holiday mood that I'm probably never gonna get out of) and sometimes I end up forgetting that this is not something I'm doing long-term. Makes me sad, really, that I'll be gone in a few months and will end up nothing but a mere memory. But honestly grateful for the bestest kids/students/friends (terms can be used interchangeably HAHAHA), I'm really getting to know them more and more each day. Times like these I wonder if I should do away with the humane, friendly part of teaching because the more I do this, the more painful it is gonna be to leave. Oh well just gonna go with the flow and enjoy the rest of the time I have left. Note to self: don't make too many promises I know I can't keep.

Anyway, the past two days of interning at alexandra hospital have made me miss school so much more. It wouldn't be fair to compare the two though, especially because in one place, I see old miserable people (okay not fair to generalise, they're not all miserable) cooped up in a place they have no desire of being in, and in another, I see students openly disliking education but secretly loving it.  But if there's one thing that links both doctors and teachers together, it's definitely how emotionally draining their jobs are. I personally think teachers can choose to distance themselves from the emotionally demanding part of their job, or even cut themselves off totally from it. It's more of a choice for them. I know for certain though that the best teachers feel for their students, even feel with them, and in doing that, emotions must come into play. OKAY I'm not making any more sense so I shall stop here hahahaha.

"In your hesitation, I found my answer." Sometimes silence speaks louder than words.

precious three months

It's been almost two months, and I still haven't quite figured out whether I'm cut out for this. But the one thing that keeps me happy, keeps me coming back to this place are definitely the kids. There's something amazing about the kids I've met, I can't put my finger on it yet, but talking to these kids (yes, just talking and getting to know them as people) leaves me with this warm glow inside. Each day I learn a little more about what it means to be a teacher, and I've begun to realise I have power over the littlest things, the power to make kids feel a little more loved, appreciated, understood and cared for. It's this power that I don't quite trust myself with, because who knows what may happen when I screw up. Teaching is something that doesn't tolerate screw-ups, and I'll admit that I screw up a lot, and for all the right things that you do, students tend to remember you for your screw-ups more than anything else. But I'm nowhere near ready to leave this place and its people behind, currently bursting with love for this school and all the amazing students I've met, and I swear it's these newfound friends that make me want to stay on, even if it's just for a few more months.

Also, the past three months have been mad awesome, and I can't believe it's already been three months since we graduated. The past months have changed me in so many unexpected ways, subtle, but still there. Results come out friday, and the thought of getting 'em back on that flimsy piece of paper really terrifies me. Mixed feelings of dread and anticipation (can't tell the difference), coupled with fear of what comes after - uni/college, scholarship apps, the future. Had my heart set on going to the us years ago, just hope my grades get me where I want to be. Or rather, where I'm meant to be.

At times like these, I feel small. These precious kids take on bigger problems than themselves, and here I am wallowing in self-doubt. I admire these kids so much more than they'll ever know. : )

the language of impossible dreams

Thing is, we don't stop wanting the things we can't have. And we may never will.

The mind is a savage beast tamed only by the heart.

those who remember & those who forget

Half the world hates what half the world does every day
Half the world waits while half gets on with it anyway
Half the world lives, half the world makes
Half the world gives while the other half takes

I came to the realisation that there are two kinds of people: those who forget and those who remember. And maybe I've been holding on to the wrong group of people all along. 

Annnnnd I just had to add this in... becky's gonna be an artist in new york after college!!! Coolest thing ever though I think I might need to magically teleport myself there so that I can actually show up for her shows.

I gotta sleep earlier, surviving on three hours of sleep is not cool.

2013.

i never believed in angels…

because i had never felt their wings.

i never believed in paradise…

because i had never held the key.

i never believed in mirrors…

because i hated what i’d see.

i never believed in love…

because it never believed in me.

until you.

-alexander michael deleon

Beautiful words above from alex deleon of The Cab! Words just come so naturally to him I get wowed every time I read his blog. And...... this is a 2013 post : ) Okay a little late, I know, but then again, when am I never late? Ha ha one more new year resolution for me.

2012 was a pretty good year (I actually survived the big As GASP) and the toughest year of my life's now over and done with. Thank God for that. Not sure if it was my best though, but I sincerely hope it was. And now that I actually survived As, I'm feeling pretty invincible (not gonna last when the rejections start coming in ughhh). My last week of 2012 was spent with lovely people in a lovely bungalow along east coast. Love the feeling when you wake up every morning in a new (and very beautiful) place. It's almost paradise. Almost.

Uni apps are thankfully completed, just waiting for all the decisions now and hopefully everything turns out according to plan. Secretly wasting all my 11:11 wishes on this whole college business ha ha ha. Becky has been way too busy at hahvahd to help so this last lap I'm conquering on my own. And I'm glad too. Because this time, it's all me.

Big day tomorrow so going to bed now. Can't visualise myself as a teacher as of now but I've gotta give it a try, haven't I? May 2013 be amazing for everyone : )