what could have been & what will be

Never thought I would end up in smu, much less in law school, but the past month hasn't let me down at all. I'm beginning to think I made the right decision coming here after all. Still remember making a hell lot of fancy plans to study in imperial/ucl/ucla just a while ago (and wasting a hell lot of money holding those places too sigh) but then subsequently abandoning every last one of them in the same month. A year ago, I would've thought this meant "settling for something less than I was capable of", but I guess I look at things differently now that I'm out of rj , and not constantly surrounded by people who had dreams ten times greater than their actions. But on hindsight, law's a noble choice, perhaps a part of me ended up choosing practicality over passion in the end, but who cares, I plan to study hard, make my time in law school worthwhile and figure out my passion along the way. Plus I'm so glad my parents have been so freaking supportive of me :)

Anyway, I've been having so many experiences lately, going for camps and making friends and just generally being a social human being (and hopefully succeeding hahaha). Sports camp set my standards real high, I'll admit, but smux camp, law camp and ftb honestly did not fall far behind, and the people I met have been nothing short of amazing. All extremely different, but in the best possible ways.

But one thing that irks me here is how people are so quick to judge, even those whom I never pegged as superficial end up unpleasantly surprising me (and I'm perhaps also guilty of judging). Like I don't understand how they can automatically classify people into a certain category just based on the way they look/act. And how just because people look/act a certain way, it automatically makes them less desirable as a friend?? How does this even make sense? The one thing about uni that scares me the most (probably even more so than the workload) are the friends (or the lack of them???). Like back in jc I guess I was really blessed to have real friends who had my back every single time. In uni, you can have a million friends, but how many of them would actually have your back at the end of it all?

Approx three weeks left till school starts! Gonna make the last few weeks of freedom count :)

Also, I tend to fall for people I know I'll never be good enough for. Hurts more than anything knowing you're not the one they'll pick. Why do I bring this upon myself ahahahaha okay I laugh at myself a lot

sports camp + stuff :)

Sports camp last week marked the start of uni life, I feel fifty shades darker after camp, no kidding, like even this kid noticed today and shouted at me "CHER WHY YOU SO BLACK NOW!" (to that I replied "WHAT BLACK"). HAHAHAA okayy about time I started realising the importance of sunblock.

This camp's probably something I'll remember the rest of my years in school, not just cuz of the friends made (they WERE pretty awesome) /sports played, but also cuz I experienced things I've never experienced in my entire life (good/bad thing you decide). Like, I'm not even exaggerating. If there was one thing that my six years as a rafflesian did not teach me, it was how to act in such social situations (aka the party/clubbing scene). Not just how to act, but how to not be so awkward/out of place/stick out like a sore thumb (okay a million phrases came to mind so I just had to type them out). I guess I kinda felt bad on everyone's behalf that I was being such a child and robbing them of the good time they could've had if they didn't have to stop and ask me every ten seconds whether I was okay. And at the same time, I felt bad for myself for not having as much fun as everyone else was (okay this part was me being a complete child). But srsly I don't get how I am the only person in the world who doesn't know how to club sighhh I have a lot to learn (yingx promised to teach me!!!)

But sports camp was fun, it's the kinda thing you look back on and remember only the good parts :) and I'm so glad em made me sign up for it. Have always been a strong believer in the "people come into your life for a reason" theory, and well it pretty much sums this up. Insanely blessed to have been a part of this camp :))

OKAY SMUX CAMP ON FRI! needa start packing early if not I'm gonna end up with three hours of sleep again. which, knowing myself, I probably will. 

Oh yes went back to school today to find myself table-less HAHAAHAHAHA can you imagine the look on my face when I realised my old table has been taken over and completely invaded. Maybe this is a sign that I should be leaving soon, I don't even have a proper permanent place in the staff room anymore.

I need to update more often. First off, to prevent myself from becoming completely illiterate, and second, so that I remember the bits and pieces of life, instead of just the huge events. AND YES my kids have cdiv bball matches soon which means I can go down to ccab to support them again, watching bball sure is addictive hehehe.