highways and dead ends

It's been a short ten weeks, and everything seems to be falling in and out of place repeatedly. But I'm not going to let myself fall apart, even if I may be splitting at the seams already. Besides, I can't, since the whole world would be looking on, if you know what I mean. I have a hell lot of things weighing heavily on my mind now, and right now, I just feel like dumping my brain into the ocean. Okay fine, not the wisest thing to do, since I would be needing my brain for Promos.

I really need to stop missing stuff and get on with life. It's just a pathetic excuse to stay put because I don't have the courage to face anything. If it was a great big fire-breathing dragon that I had to face, I really wouldn't mind. But sometimes, things are just more complicated than a fire-breathing dragon. Like, seriously.

Anyway, people have been leaving confused. More confused than I have been in a long time. And I'm wondering what I did wrong, and whether I can ever put it right again. But I promise you, if I could, I really would.

So there goes my life,
Passing by with every exit sign.
It's been so long,
Sometimes I wonder how I will stay strong.
No sleep tonight,
I'll keep on driving these dark highway lines.
And as the moon fades,
One moment gone, only twenty more days.
- Hello, I'm In Delaware, City and Colour


I really love this song, kinda describes what I'm feeling. And Dallas Green's voice is really great :))


Okay, chem calls, I can hear my periodic table screaming at me to come back.

escalating downwards,

I'm really not strong at all. And it shows. It's not even a subtle thing, it's a right-smack-in-your-face thing. Like a balloon. Soaring higher and higher up in the sky. Until a sharp tree branch gets in its way. It pops, and sinks back down to earth, never to float up again, never able to reach the clouds, never able to realise its dreams.

I love my yearmates. I really do. They are the ones who have kept me sane for four years, and probably another two more. They are more than just friends, really, they are the life of me. Maybe living on craziness isn't a very good idea, but I love them so very much <3

I'm five years old, It's getting cold, I've got my big coat on
I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you, I run and run
Past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides, look now the sky is gold
I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home

I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
I know you're not scared of anything at all ('His strength is making me stronger')
Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away
But I know I had the best day with you today.


I really want to jump into piles of golden leaves and skip through bright orange pumpkin fields without a care in the world. But I guess ignorance never gets anyone anywhere. Hmm, but do I really want to get somewhere?

I found all that I could ever want, wrapped in something I could never have.

I think I need to get my brain to accept the fact that promos are in 6 weeks. Oh, joy. ): And I really need to do well, which means I've got to get down to studying pronto. 

I wonder what makes people so sure of themselves. I probably need that. 

I've been tellin' my dreams to the scarecrow

'Bout the places that I'd like to see

I said, friend do you think I'll ever get there

Ah, but he just stands there smilin' back at me

- Born to Fly, Sara Evans

this is a very happy picture :))

Kk gonna continue doing math now. DISCIPLINEEEE