And it's okay cuz I have no more dignity left anyway.
So they can just take all the rest I have.
And I promise I won't put up a fight.
If there's one thing this week and the last taught me, it's that I'm so weak, and probably will always be.
And I think I have lost much of my faith in humanity. Was talking to linda about this today, how people trivialize the things that mean the world to us (aka interact and rc) and how people in uni are endlessly so materialistic they will never derive as much happiness out of serving people as we do. And that's totally okay because everyone has their own battles to fight. But I'm a firm believer that the battles you choose to take on defines the kind of person you are.
And ha ha what good are promises when people don't keep them? It's like a butterfly without wings or a kite without the string. There but not quite. People keep telling you things, you keep telling them things in return and in the end, it probably meant a whole lot more to you than it meant to them. It's unsettling because when you've bared yourself entirely, you realise that it probably wasn't a very wise choice because they end up trivialising you as a person and the things you believe in.
No just no sigh. Some people will never understand.
Hi Verna,
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean you've lost much of your faith in humanity?!! You cannot blame other people for not understanding what your own experiences mean to you. Think of it this way: even if someone else told you all about something that meant the world to them, you'll probably treat it as a story or simply one part of them and never quite appreciate what a huge deal it is to them. It works both ways, and you can't just expect people to understand the things that matter to you. And thinking that anybody else would genuinely care about the things that matter to you is just way too adorable. (Nobody would okay, unless they love you the way I do, or the way your mum does.)
I hope that you're happy in school everyday and still smiling 24/7. Smile when you wake up, smile when you're having lessons, smile when you're participating in class, smile between classes, smile when you're eating, smile when you chase the frisbee but don't manage to catch it, smile when you're having group meetings, smile when you're studying into the AMs at night, smile when you're sleeping.
Okay it's 5am and I'm going to sleep now. See you on Tuesday!!
Love,
Lingzhi