Anyway, I was reading through my old emails from becky again today and I found the one dating back to 2010 when she was giving me advice for batch talk. Back when I was small and scared and couldn't even bring myself to talk in front of hordes of my batchmates. Her exact words were, "you don't need anything but your sincerity, friend. as long as you mean what you say, that in itself is your power to influence." (Pic below) I guess those words never left me since that day and it's been almost four years. But the past ten months (or even two years), I haven't had time to reflect and think about the reasons behind what I do what I do and perhaps I've made some mistakes, but a whole lot of good came out of that too. And I firmly believe Becky's 'sincerity', drive and passion, the traits that I endlessly respected her for back in rg, somehow rubbed off on me too.
1) serving kids in csl the 2 years I was in rj - taught me patience, love, kindness and respect for the simplest human beings and the cutest ones too :-)
2) teaching 2/3 and 2/5 in gss and making the best memories a teacher-cum-student like me will ever make - taught me to love my kids unconditionally no matter how many times they screwed up, made me love watching bball (cuz all my bball boys make me so proud), helped me understand what it truly means to be there for my kids, and touching their lives
And the best part is, I honestly never thought they'd still remember, up till now :-)
3) sports camp/YOLO camp/law camp/SMUX camp - showed me how superficial uni could be on one extreme, yet showed me sincerity is still possible and should be something we all continually strive towards. Taught me to never judge, just accept and that people never turn out to be what you first imagine. And taught me that some ppl just aren't worth the effort so quit trying :-)
4) isle vietnam - taught me sincerity, sincerity and more sincerity. Cuz even kids on the verge of death can tell when you truly mean the things you do for them. And there's so much joy in knowing you made the last few hours of a person much more bearable, much more painless. :-) taught me about life, death and the in-betweens cuz having seen death, somehow life becomes so much more precious to you :-)
5) rgsrcy (okay not within the past two years, but still worth mentioning) - hands down the best four years of my life. Yearmates are probably the best friends I've made and will ever make :-) fd trainings under the sun thrice a week for fdc, arts fest prac twice a week, trainings and pt twice a week, things I'll never forget for as long as I live. The part of my life I hate most when ppl trivialize it cuz it meant the world to me. Taught me discipline, strength, courage, taught me to be respected and to respect and taught me love, passion, commitment and how love can bring ppl tgt and bond them as a team :-)
6) namaste - the next big thing in my life and the one I srsly hope I can bring sincerity to :-) cuz it's no longer just all that Becky would ever want for the world, but now, it's all I would ever want for the world too. like idk maybe if she were here now, she'd be happy that everyone's doing the little bit they can. as much as I wish she were, I'm just glad there's this part of me that'll always be touched by her :-) and a part of me that I can translate into tangible, concrete action.
anyway the point of my post is cuz somehow somewhere, someone realised I needed a timely reminder of the things I have to keep holding close to my heart, and to never ever lose sight of the bigger things in life. Hahahaha kinda was super glad + relieved today to hear that STAND UP RG and STAND UP AC are all still in operation, owing to becky of course, such that her legacy still lives on no matter where she goes :') maybe it's about time a STAND UP SMU was started too HAHAHAHAHA
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