what could have been & what will be

Never thought I would end up in smu, much less in law school, but the past month hasn't let me down at all. I'm beginning to think I made the right decision coming here after all. Still remember making a hell lot of fancy plans to study in imperial/ucl/ucla just a while ago (and wasting a hell lot of money holding those places too sigh) but then subsequently abandoning every last one of them in the same month. A year ago, I would've thought this meant "settling for something less than I was capable of", but I guess I look at things differently now that I'm out of rj , and not constantly surrounded by people who had dreams ten times greater than their actions. But on hindsight, law's a noble choice, perhaps a part of me ended up choosing practicality over passion in the end, but who cares, I plan to study hard, make my time in law school worthwhile and figure out my passion along the way. Plus I'm so glad my parents have been so freaking supportive of me :)

Anyway, I've been having so many experiences lately, going for camps and making friends and just generally being a social human being (and hopefully succeeding hahaha). Sports camp set my standards real high, I'll admit, but smux camp, law camp and ftb honestly did not fall far behind, and the people I met have been nothing short of amazing. All extremely different, but in the best possible ways.

But one thing that irks me here is how people are so quick to judge, even those whom I never pegged as superficial end up unpleasantly surprising me (and I'm perhaps also guilty of judging). Like I don't understand how they can automatically classify people into a certain category just based on the way they look/act. And how just because people look/act a certain way, it automatically makes them less desirable as a friend?? How does this even make sense? The one thing about uni that scares me the most (probably even more so than the workload) are the friends (or the lack of them???). Like back in jc I guess I was really blessed to have real friends who had my back every single time. In uni, you can have a million friends, but how many of them would actually have your back at the end of it all?

Approx three weeks left till school starts! Gonna make the last few weeks of freedom count :)

Also, I tend to fall for people I know I'll never be good enough for. Hurts more than anything knowing you're not the one they'll pick. Why do I bring this upon myself ahahahaha okay I laugh at myself a lot