fixing fixation.

Life has this way of making me feel completely drained and wiped at times, yet so bright and jumpy at others. I really like it when I'm bright and jumpy, it's when I start noticing the happier stuff around me, like how white and fluffy the clouds were today :DD

When we convince ourselves hard enough, we might end up believing what we want to believe. And for me, this happens way too often because half the time, I'm trying to convince myself that everything isn't as bad as it seems. Anyway, I just really wish I hadn't been that mean and ignorant and all. ): What hurts the most is knowing that you let what could've been a great friendship slip out of your grasp just like that. It's heart-wrenching not because I care, but because I have to act like I don't. It's painful, even. Trying to pick up the broken pieces and glue them back together but for one, the glue isn't permanent, and for another, I'm really not very good at fixing things. Please just tell me the glue will hold.

Okay anyway I really have so much to be thankful for. It catches me by surprise how much believing can really help. Okay it might just sound too cliched and all, the 'believe in youself' line repeated over and over until it's on replay in your head, but seriously, no one truly knows how to believe until you really feel it for yourself. That's why I've been telling people to believe, believe, believe, because in such a cold, dark world, it's the only thing keeping us sane.

forgive me, will you? ):